Broken Wings
by Yoru no Tsuyu
Summary: Hitomis life has gone from bad to worse. And she's crying out to Van. Will the young king answer her? Rape mention. Violence mention. M for mature contents
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.: **Hi minna-san. I'm here for another fic, and a challenging one at that. I know the theme of this story is dark, and maybe unpleasant, but… I'm challenging myself to see if I am able to write this thing. Please note that I was kinda down when I started to write this… T.T Anyway… and to the readers of my other fic…please just wait a little longer. It is coming along.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. Just the paper and the pencil in which I initially wrote this.

**Rating**: M – Violence and Rape theme

**Warnings**: This is a dark fiction. If you do not feel mature enough, or find this kind of fiction unpleasant, please DON'T READ. I'm sure there's other stories around there better fitted for you. DON'T flame me for this.

Oh, there's some OCC as well. Just…bare with me.

**Note**: Here's the cut version. If you want the complete version (which is not very different) just let me know, and I'll send it to you by e-mail.

**Broken Wings**

**By** Aya Honey

**Chapter 1**: Torn apart

She didn't know when her life had gone from bad to worse. She'd never thought, four years ago, that her life would turn out that way. Or maybe, she knew, she felt it, but didn't want to see it; she wanted to have faith…faith in him, in them… or else… or else she would've stayed. She would have stayed, for sure. Hitomi is still young; barely nineteen now, and she knew it, but… she didn't feel like one. She felt tired…so, so tired…

The short-haired—or rather ex-short-haired—young woman (her hair managed somehow to grow almost past her waist now) fumbled with the keys of her tiny and worn out apartment. When she finally managed to open it, she stepped inside, closed it and turned on the light; and then after checking that indeed no-one else was in there, the honey-haired young woman hastily locked the door, sighing a sigh of utter relief and leaning against the simple old door. Her fear wasn't unjustified—her 'neighborhood' wasn't one of the safest there was out there…

She didn't even have the strength to make her legs move properly; she just wobbled to her tiny little room, and flopped unceremoniously onto her bed once she arrived, the poor one squeaking as if in complaint as she did so. She was so, so tired… she just wanted to sleep her life in, to eternity and beyond. But she knew that not even her dreams were nice to her…

The green-eyed woman fought the urge to sleep just yet… She had just yet to clean the apartment… With her lousy thing she called a job and with her living completely on her own now… she just hadn't had he time to do anything, not even to clean her little apartment…

Her life was really wrong. Drifting between dream and reality, dream and consciousness, she started to remember how things started decaying out of course. She remembered it… Four years ago, short after having returned from Gaia, from Van, his father lost his job. It seemed the place where he worked wasn't going so well…so they suddenly decided they didn't need him anymore. And that was when the drinking began.

Her father was bitter with the job loss, the betrayal, his hurt pride above all else, so he just started drinking, drowning in alcohol. But now that she really thought about it… her father always drank a little too much, a little too often; but after that incident… He just started to drink out more, to get out of control.

And because of that, even when he got other jobs, he couldn't keep them. And so, his frustration grew, they grew so much more. And that was when the beatings began.

She cried the first time he hit her mother. She cried even more the time she tried to defend her, the other time her father started to hit her mother again, only earning a full blow on the face from her raging father. And she cried so much more when her little brother tried to defend them, to defend her, earning a blow from his belt. And hit him. Again and again. And she finally couldn't take it anymore, and shielded her little Mamoru body's with hers. But he didn't stop doing again and again, again and again, belt against flesh, belt against torn out cloth, belt against more flesh, blood against flesh, again and again, her mother crying, pleading… pleading for him to stop…until he finally did so. He got tired, it seemed. She just barely heard as he stormed out the house.

She couldn't cry afterwards, not anymore. And she hurt so much. THEY hurt so much. But then, days after that… Her father came home again, pleading for forgiveness, repented. He promised—no, vowed—to stop drinking, and to never raise his hands to them ever again. All would be fine again, as if was before. She was still so numb for it all that she wanted to believe, she _needed_ to believe. Needed to believe in him, believe that her family wasn't torn out, believe that she could be happy, that she made the right chose to return back to Earth. And so, in the end, she and her mother forgave him, but not so Mamoru. He didn't believe him, not even to his short years.

All was calmer for a while, making her live a false sense of happiness and relief, until it all crumbled down once more, once again. She didn't recall exactly what made it, but the yelling began; or rather, became more frequent. And the beating began all once more. In those times, she and her little brother hided in her room, crying, begging for it all to end, for it all to stop, to anyone, to just anyone.

_Van._

She remembered how much she wanted to go back to him then, to run from it all, but she couldn't. She still had some faith, on her mother at least, and she still had to protect Mamoru. How ironic, she needing to protect the one holding the name of protection…

How many times after all those beatings did the young girl begged her mother to divorce her father, to leave him, to just leave him? But her mother simply dismissed it, saying that his father would come around, that he would change. Oh, but how wrong her mother had been.

And how much she cried within her soul every time her mother would say that. She couldn't cry on the outside; Van would know it.

_Van…_

She felt it… it was vague, but it was there all the same. Their connection. He could feel her worries, her pain, but every time she just dismissed it, saying, or rather sending the thought that it was nothing to be worried about. That she was okay. Even when she knew it was all a lie. She just didn't want to worry him…she had a brother to protect. She couldn't be selfish. She wasn't allowed to be selfish. She just couldn't give up everything and go back there…to Gaia…to him…

In the end, after some hellish time in what used to be her home, her lovely home, she'd decided that she had enough. She saw her father wasn't going to change, she saw that her mother wasn't going to leave him, and that, if they stayed there any longer, they, one day or another would end up dead. So, one day, she'd put some of hers and Mamoru's clothes into her track's duffle-bag (the activity she'd long gave up—she had far too many bruises too frequently to run properly anymore), took some of her saved money, and left home. She managed to take Mamoru with her. She was seventeen at that time.

She decided she would protect her brother. She left school, rented some cheap room far from where they used to live, and took a job. She would work, and he would study, and by doing that at least he would be happy. If Hitomi couldn't have a good life and be happy, at least she'd make sure Mamoru had all those.

All was relatively easy for them for a couple of heavenly months, or maybe a little more, before they found them, before _he_ found them. Luckily, they were able to escape, but she knew…she knew they would find them soon enough again. Because she'd promised herself she would protect her little beloved annoying brother no matter what…she made a decision. It was hard, but it was the only thing it would ensure that he'd be safe. Safe from _him_.

She would send him off to some distant relatives in the country that did not have children, to take care of him.

She couldn't go with him. They only could manage to sustain and take care of only one person.

Besides, she was older; she was more capable of taking care of herself. She convinced herself it would be easier to take care of herself alone, without having to worry anyone.

And so, her wish was fulfilled.

She didn't know how hard it would be to be on her own, alone.

Her parents never forgave her; her father left her one last present. He beat her up to his heart content, to his anger content. She almost died that time.

She still had the scars. All over her back. On the back of her arms. Her tights.

Luckily her work uniform hided all of those.

_And Van…_

He grew silent. He was still worried, sick with worry she could tell, but…she just shut him off. She shut him off for so long that she didn't know how to call him back. Oh how much she wanted to go back. But…then… another feeling, another vision filled her mind.

Maybe she couldn't call him, reach out to him because…he no longer wanted to be reached. He got tired of waiting, of being shut from her. So then, probably…he had moved on with his life. Got married. Got even heirs of his own to his throne now.

How much her heart had hurt then. Because…

She still loved him.

She loved him so much she thought her heart would break. Loved him so much that seemed to be impossible for one person feel it. She tried to forget about him, all about him, to forget her light now that she no longer had it, now that any light was left on her world of darkness…but she found that it was impossible. Totally and utterly impossible. And then…she found that she couldn't forget him, but that he had forgot all about her. She wanted to die right then.

But then she remembered, razor in hand, that there still was one person who would be sad about her death, one person who still hadn't forgotten her…Mamoru. He still sent her letters, still called her from time to time. She couldn't do that to him, not when he was also facing his own demons, not when he was trying so hard to be strong and continue with his studies, away from all that he became to love and cherish.

She dropped the razor, and fell to her knees, hands to her face, covering it, crying. She was such a coward…utterly pathetic…utterly weak.

And now…one year after that… she felt dead. Yeah, she didn't try to commit suicide again after that, but… she didn't feel alive. And she knew that…not even cutting herself would make her feel alive, so she didn't even try it. It was useless.

And with those thoughts on her head, she fell to a restless sleep.

She woke up to the sounds of things falling…door being forced open…steps in her apartment. She immediately felt the adrenaline pumping in her veins… Robbers. …she had to be ready. She was so afraid…

_Van…_

Grabbing a broom she'd left there the day before, she quietly crawled to the door, which was left ajar. Big mistake.

They saw them. Two of them. To men. Two big men. They didn't look…sober. Indeed, one of them had a bottle of some alcohol on his hand. They were looking like they were looking for something, anything, that they could seal in order to buy more. More of their want, their vice. And the moment they lay their eyes on her…

Hitomi took a step back, suddenly feeling all her little courage she had leaving her. They took a step towards her. And another. And another. She took steps back, until she finally backed to the wall, against it. They were so _near_. Oh god they were _so near_. She decided she would not die there. Not that way. No way.

The scared green-eyed woman leaped at them, broom in hand. She would knock them, step through that door, leave the house, and run to that convenient store that was opened 24/7. Her plan failed somewhere through. She managed to knock one of them, but…the other grabbed her by the wrist, punched her face back, making her fall to the ground, lips bleeding.

_Oh, god, Van…_

She tried to get up, but one of them grabbed a handful of her hair, twisting it backwards, plunging his rough foreign unwanted lips against her. She gagged, she tried to step back, push him back with both her hands. But then he took both her wrist, held them, and make her lay on the cold floor, both his legs against her tights, immobilizing her completely, efficiently. She struggled and struggled, but she just couldn't get free. She _couldn't_.

_Oh, god, Van, please help me…_

Their eyes…they were like the ones of a predator. They looked at her as if she was the prey. And she knew it, she was.

The man—no, both of them—started to unzip their pants. They were looking pointedly at her. _Oh, no… please god no…_

"We are gonna take a good taste of you before killing you…" one of them purred against her neck, licking his lips, licking her neck. Tears prickled her eyes. She desperately struggled. She couldn't… oh god this couldn't be happening…

_Van…! Help me, Van!_

_Van!_

"Damn…so tight…so you're a little virgin, uh?" the man whispered-purred against her. She felt like she was dying.

_Van…_

She felt her heart was dying. She was saving herself. Saving herself for him. For the day when she would…when she could…

Her heart was bleeding. Her heart was dying. Finally, that man stopped. It seemed he got tired at last…?

"Move, you idiot!" the other man shoved the previous one off her. "My turn!"

Hitomi's eyes grew up then. She got up wobbly. She would get away from there. She would not let the other to take her. To take her as well.

But one of them—anyone—caught her up by her ankle, making her fall to the hard ground, hard. She tried to kick, to get away, but she just couldn't. _Please god no again… please no…_

"Tsk tsk. That's not nice, little lady. You're not going anywhere." The man tore her upper cloth as well—her panties and pants were ripped apart by the other, cupped her right breast roughly—

_Van…_

_Van…! _

_Van!_

He began moving. She couldn't take it anymore. She lost consciousness then.

She woke up after…she was alone. Utterly alone. And she was bleeding. Between her legs. And in her chest. Chest…? She then noticed one of her few kitchen's knives next to her, stained with blood. Her blood. She coughed, feeling a copper flavor between her teeth, filling them, filling her tongue. She felt her energy leaving her, with each ounce of blood that was leaving her body for good.

The last thought she had before passing onto oblivion was of how much she wanted to see him again, one last time.

She felt a white warmness fill her, evolving her. That was the last she felt.

--

**A.N.**: You survived! I don't think the story is gonna get any darker than that. Uh… I'm not too sure about this…It kinda scares me. Please, any constructive criticism will be very much welcomed. Any comments you have as well. Just… PLEASE DON'T FLAME. That's the only thing I'm not gonna be accepting from you.


	2. Please return

**A.N.**: Tee hee… +nervous laugh+ Hello there… Long time no see, ne+rapidly crouching behind keyboard, avoiding sharp objects thrown at her+ Easy, easy… Aaaaarghh+flees through the door, waiting for angry readers to calm down+

Etto…I really have no valid excuses for this really long, long delay. I had most of this chapter done awhile ago, but…I couldn't bring myself finishing it. I just…hadn't had the inspiration for writing it, either. And then, my others ficcies monopolized most of my time, and then college began (college is mean, I'm telling you) and then, problems at home… It hadn't been easy for me, especially this past month or so. And so…I really don't expect for you to believe me, but at least to comprehend me. I the readers that told me, asked for me to continue it, are in their right. Once you start something, you can't just quit it, ne?

But! Stop with the excuses! And now, on with this next installment! Yay!

**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, never will.

· : - · - : ·

**Broken Wings**

**By** Aya Honey

· : - · - : ·

**Chapter 2**: Please return…

Van was uneasy that night. He couldn't sleep, for some odd reason. It was like something terrible was going to happen; something that had to do with Hitomi, one way or another. He tried to reach to her, but had found himself unable to. Damn! What's going on, Hitomi!?

He was just about to get out of bed, and tend to some papers instead, when he felt a sudden stab on his heart, along with some heart-breaking images. Images of her. Of Hitomi. And then heard her, heard her pleads. Oh gods how they were heart-breaking. She was so afraid, so desperate…and so in pain… And he couldn't reach her. They were a world apart. And he could not do nothing, nothing at all.

_Dammit, Hitomi, reach out to me!_

After some heartbreaking-filled seconds, he saw an intense light out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head to the great balcony marble of his rich room, the dark haired Fanelian King then saw it; a huge pillar of light, laying into the deep of the woods.

Could it be that…?

Without further thinking, he quickly left his room, and made his way through the castle's long and deserted hallways. At some point, some guards approached him, warning him about some strange light that had suddenly appeared in the woods, and that he please don't approach there, and that what they should do. He muttered some answer along the lines of 'it is not dangerous' before he ordered for a horse be prepared at once, that he was leaving. The guards tried to argue back, saying that he could not possibly be thinking about leaving the castle, about going there; but he left place for no arguments, placing his determined intense red eyes on them. They bowed profoundly then, leaving not too later after with the response of 'Yes, Your Majesty!'

Not too short after, he was galloping towards the woods, where the pillar of light first appeared. It was no longer in sight now; it seemed that it disappeared, after having fulfilled its function. Two guards were galloping on tow; they weren't going to let the King go alone to such a dangerous place, after such a strange event had just occurred. In fact, they didn't want the King to go there at all, but they saw there was no way to convince their King otherwise. He was dashing with a mad urgency— he had to make it there on time.

_Hang on, Hitomi!_

He prayed for whatever god there was that he made it on time. He had a feeling that if he didn't…

After some nerve-breaking minutes of dashing to his destination and worries, he arrived where he thought he saw it land. He jumped off his horse, giving the saddle to one of his startled guards—they weren't expecting for him to get out to fast and so briskly—and started looking. Looking for anything, anything that resembled familiar, and foreign at the same time.

And then—he saw it. A glimpse of honey color. And of crimson blood staining it, covering it, bathing it.

Oh gods.

_Hitomi!_

The dark-haired ruler dashed to where that apparition was, and gasped at what he saw. He felt vile and anger filling each inch of his body, of his soul. His body tensed, and he clenched his fist, clenching it so hard that it drew blood. The young king had felt her anguish, but he never dared to think—He quickly took the cape he had—the damn castle people wouldn't let him go if he didn't at least wore something 'decent'-something he was grateful now—and put it on Hitomi, covering her; he heard steps coming closer, and didn't want anyone to see her like that. _He_ didn't want to have to see her like that. He would kill the bastards, if he ever had the chance.

He gently took her in his arms, bridal style, and put her to his chest. He didn't give the time to let his escorts to ask any question, for he quickly took the saddle back and jumped onto his horse once more, albeit carefully.

"Let's go." He said commandingly, barely containing his fury within his voice, before quickly dashing back to the castle, where he had to have Hitomi get treated, and saved. He got even more desperate as he felt the steady warm seeping of blood out of Hitomi's system. He gripped even harder the saddle, and went even faster. He didn't know what he would do if Hitomi…

_Don't die on me, Hitomi…_

"Don't you dare die on me, Hitomi" the dark-haired young man whispered fiercely to the unconscious girl, reflexively gripping a little harder, a little more protective, a little more possessive.

· : - · - : ·

She felt numb. She felt like floating. She felt nothing. She felt everything. Wait… Wasn't she dead…? Weren't dead people supposed to not feel anything at all? She tried to focus on her feelings. She felt…warm. Warm and…protected. She felt safe. She then tried to move, she found she couldn't. She felt so sore. She felt as if she was beat all ove…

Oh my god… she was… oh god… suddenly, her heart felt so heavy, so sad as the memories came flooding all over again. And again. And again. Her eyes felt moisty, but she didn't care; he wouldn't open them ever again. She couldn't… she… couldn't…

_Van…_

· : - · - : ·

Van was so preoccupied. He was sitting on a chair, next to Hitomi. He insisted she was to stay in his room, even against the others' better judgment. So whenever he was allowed by his duties (he still had a country to rule, no mattering Hitomi's grave situation) he would stay by her side, taking care of her. He couldn't take to see her like that. But…Even when the healers had managed to heal her, to save her, she wouldn't wake. It was now the twelfth day of her being unconscious. The healers had him, tried to assured him, to have patience, that it was normal…considering the patient's situation.

And just thinking about her situation… it made him sick with madness and anger and rage and fury all over again. He would kill them. He would tear them, he would tear them limb by limb by limb, until they suffered a very slow and painful death. And even that wouldn't be enough. For what they did to her was unforgivable.

"Van…" he heard she whisper all too softly, her voice filled with sadness. From her eyes a silent tear slipped, making its way down her cheek.

"I'm here…" he responded her, his features getting even sadder, and took her hand lovingly. This happened all too recently now…She would call out to him, she would cry silently…but just that. She wouldn't wake. "I'm right here…" he gripped her hand a little more tightly, trying to give her whatever comfort he could.

When would be the day when she would wake up, and come back to him…? It seemed as if that day was so far away…

_Hitomi…please wake up… and come back to me…_

She just continued crying.

· : - · - : ·

Hitomi was crying. Not even her dreams were nice… she could feel it…their hands all over her. Touching her. Dirtying her. She was so dirty, so dirty… No-one would want her like that, wouldn't they? She was so dirty, and so unworthy…

_Van…_

No…he wouldn't want her like that. She…was no longer pure. She wasn't fit to him. She was fit for no king. She wasn't fit for anyone.

Images of Van filled her head, her inner eye. His intense eyes. His lean form. His lean yet strong muscles. His dark hair, almost covering half on his face. His wings… That rare smile of his… He was so beautiful… so, so beautiful… But…she couldn't see him ever again. No, she couldn't. She was so tainted…

_Van…_

_Hitomi…_

_No, Van… _

She couldn't. Oh god she couldn't. She was crying, all over again… but she didn't ever stop crying, did she…?

_Hitomi…come back…_

His voice sounded so helpless…She'd never…

_Come back, Hitomi… _

_Can't, Van… I'm not worthy…_

She felt something then. Something where her hand should be. Where her hand was. A warmness… a loving warmness…

_Just…come back, Hitomi… I don't care…_

_But, Van, I…_

_I said that Hitomi I don't care…! Listen to me, Hitomi…_

She felt a moist feeling descending onto her cheek, mingling with hers. Could…could it be that… Van… he… for her…?

_Don't you know what you're doing to me, Hitomi…? If you don't come back, I…_

She was hurting him. She was hurting him, and she… she was so egoistical…she was only thinking about her own pain, but… what about his? She didn't even stop to consider thinking about his. Even when he was all aloof, even when he was so proud, so well-trained to mask his feelings…he could still… and she said she loved him, but she didn't stop to think about what he may be feeling…

_I'm sorry, Van…I…_

She tried to move, to feel him…

_Shh…don't say anything. Don't apologize. Ever. Just…come back. To me._

_Van…wait, I… I'm coming back to you. _

And with that, she opened her eyes.

· : - · - : ·

"V-Van…?" she tried to said out more, but her throat was so dry…

A cold yet warm fingertip was placed upon her dry lips, lovingly, carefully. "Shhh… Don't talk… You don't need to talk…I'm right here…"

She squeezed the hand that was trapped between hers, trying to give her response. "Thank you…Van…" she managed, her voice hoarse, her expression filled with so much gratitude.

She didn't think she ever deserved that… all that Van had done to her… when all that she—

"Stop thinking like that, Hitomi." The king said sternly, yet not raising his voice.

She looked at him confusedly.

He sighed, combing his hand through his unruly hair in a nervous and frustrated manner, "I know…" he started, then sighed, then continued, "I know…by your face's expression, that you were degrading yourself."

"But—" she was cut by a stern finger on her lips, stopping her from saying whatever she was going to say. She was met with those severe yet caring eyes of him.

"Stop that. You have done more than enough. You need rest."

"But—"

"Hitomi." The young king said, his voice commanding, then sighing and putting a frustrated hand through his hair, he finished, "Just…allow me to protect you. Please." I couldn't do anything before…

then, a small smile playing on her lips, she said, "Okay." before surrendering herself to the clutches of sleep, because she felt protected, safer in years, even when she knew she didn't deserve it.

And then, she slept.

· : - · - : ·

**A.N.**: Likey? Likey not? Please feel free to tell me what you think! (But please refrain from flames; it will only be a waste of both your and my time, not to tell that I will act rampage on it) And… I shall promise you all to try and up-date this thingie not so late as this was, shall you want me to continue it by means of reviews+hint hint+

Ja!


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